Wednesday, July 24, 2013

My Crappy Day (Literally!)

I usually start my posts by letting you guys know what I've done as a workout for the day. Today however, I will explain to you why my workout did not go as planned and the lessons that I learned after my experience.

So, I woke up at 5:00 am to go on my usual 5 mile run (with some strides at the end) and from the moment I woke up I felt the slight need to go to the bathroom (Catch my drift?). I completely ignored the feeling and went about my business. I was about a half mile into my run when I suddenly felt and heard my stomach rumbling and fumbling. "That's ok," I thought, "I'll just hold it in!" I kept on trotting down my running route until I was abruptly stopped by the pain in my abdomen. The urge to go to the bathroom just grew and grew more painful. There was absolutely no way I could hold that in. I felt like my body was losing control. My bowels were totally dictating every step I took and every thought I had in my mind.

I quickly stopped running and began walking. The thought of taking one more step made my mind crazy and my sphincter tighter. But where would I go? My house was 1.5 miles away and I could hardly walk. That feeling suddenly became a religious experience when the only words out of my mouth were, "Oh my God!" I thought about going into a building but they were all closed. The nearest park was about 1/4 of a mile away and I could not hold it that long. The thought of pooping like a dog behind a bush started to appear like a really good idea, but I couldn't oblige. Me, poop like a dog on the road? I could just see myself on the Miami Herald: "Cop is arrested for taking a sh*t in public." Thanks, I'll pass on that one!

I kept on walking towards the park looking like Quasimoto with a pancake ass. As I kept on walking, I prayed to God and made him promises that I would be the best human being if He would just let me hold that thing in. Moments later, I approached the park and saw the bathroom from a distance. Yay, a dirty and infested bathroom with no paper!!! I did not care. I waddled my body to the bathroom and seconds later I could hear angels singing above me. Thank you God!!

I will not tell you what happened after the 10 minutes I spent in the bathroom, nor will I volunteer to explain how I cleaned myself, but the point is, I made it to the bathroom.



Lessons learned:
1. Pregnant women, listen to me: Don't ignore what you're body tells you. If you need to go, GO!
2. Pregnant women cannot hold IT in like non-pregnant women can (That's because we have added pressure to our bladders and abdomen).
3. Make sure there's several bathrooms along your running routes.

 
What I'm thankful for:
1. I'm thankful that God threw me a bone and I didn't crap myself (I promise I'll be good..wink) ;)
2. I'm thankful for my t-shirt. Period.
 
 
And she lived happily ever after with one less running t-shirt...
 
 
Have you ever experienced anything like this?
 
 
 
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I'm grateful for....Read story above.

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12 comments:

  1. I'm actually DYING laughing while I'm reading this. So happy you didn't crap your pants :D

    -Emily

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    1. Thanks Emily! It was quite the experience! ;)

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  2. Oh no - you poor thing! You're so lucky that you've not experienced any bathroom urgency issues until now - most runners have a story like this. I've been in situations where I've been out running and had no toilet paper and I ended up using a sock. I figured it was cheaper to replace than a shirt :-)

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  3. I'm sorry for your "experience" but at least you can look back and laugh about it! And I must say, I would much rather be a running shirt down than crapping myself on a run. Sorry, but the whole story had me dying laughing.

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    1. Patty, in hindsight I am rolling on the ground from laughter. It was such a vulnerable moment. I really thought I would have to go home walking with poop in my pants =( .

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  4. Been there, done that, I'm sorry to say! Age is also a factor, I think, like pregnancy. I'm 72 and deal with this terrifying threat by being ultra prepared, especially on long runs. I can share "preparedness" tips :) And I'm here to tell you that the embarrassment doesn't lessen with age, it gets worse.

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    1. Oh no! But you know what? They make great stories right? ;)

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  5. I'm terrified of a pants pooping moment! Glad it ended so well :) thanks for the morning laugh!

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  6. I feel you girl! I raced a (forgetful) 10K last Sunday and, once I was done with the race, I met with part of my team to run 5 more miles and complete my long run for the day. As soon as I started running, I felt it-stomach pain, weird bowels movement... I had to hold it because I didn't want to stop to the bathroom and end my run alone. Most painful and uncomfortable run of my life! I had to hit the awful port-a-potty as soon as we stopped...

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    1. I hate when that happens! It almost seems uncontrollable right?

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